Anyone know three two letter words that mean small?
Several years ago, a friend set me up with a guy named Michael. He was a really nice guy, smart, successful, owned a nice home, treated me with respect. I enjoyed his company.
As we dated, there was the inevitable fooling around. And let me tell you, he was GREAT with his hands. He could give me climax after climax, until I was begging him to stop. It was amazing. I thought, with foreplay that good, sex was going to be delicious. So I asked for it.
We stripped in the dark of his room, and as our naked bodies met, I felt something warm pressed against me. Something warm, and small. As I took him in my hand, I felt...mean. Here was this great, nice guy, and all I could think about was "How can I get out of here?". You see folks, his penis was the size of my thumb. I am not kidding. Seriously.
The condom was too big. As he entered me, I could hardly feel it. It kept slipping out. He joked about his size, and that it made things difficult. I offered oral sex instead. That worked for him, and then he went on to tire me out with his hands.
He was perfectly OK with his...limitations. I wanted to be, I really did. I spent a couple more nights with him, hoping I could be satisfied with the state of things. But I was not. The best part about sex for me is penetration, and I could not imagine giving that up, even for a potentially great relationship. And so I broke things off.
Does my inability to sacrifice that which I craved for an otherwise nice, fun guy with great hands make me a bad person? A shallow person? So be it. I hope he found himself a tiny little woman who could care less about penetration and is just thrilled to have endless orgasms, however she gets them. But she ain't me.
6 comments:
I'm a tiny little woman, but I think I would have made the same choice you did.
EXCELLENT post, Mermaid! I laughed my ass off. Your best post yet!
I'm glad mine isn't the size of your thumb. I've seen your thumb. Yikes!
i had one of those guys too. and i really did ask, "is it in yet?" then i realised what i said and felt REALLY bad. so i faked an orgasm to make him feel better.
Sweet. That's all I can say. Sweet. Gotta check out your thumbs sometime to really visualize the whole scenario. Thankfully I have never been asked that fatal question "Is in yet?".
Yeah, probably best to dump him, sexual satisfaction is pretty essential.
Rock on with you bad-ass posts. You still win...
ECL - That is great! Did he buy it?
Zetta and Psnd1969 - Thanks!
VBM - I am honored to get my first comment from you - keep 'em coming.
yah, i'm a little jealous VBM commented on your site--aren't I funny too?? (whine)
Chippy, I'm pretty sure he bought it, but its not like we talked about it....
Post a Comment