Even Pretty Rocks Shouldn't Talk

I am sitting through lots of boring, monotonous, redundant classes. In a room full of 80 basically good looking people. But there is this one.... and I just can't keep my eyes off of him. He is the most beautiful man I have ever seen. He could be on a magazine cover for.... anything. And of course, he knows it. I know he thinks he's the greatest thing on the planet. You can tell from his mannerisms, walk, smile. So I have tried to keep my distance. Too young, too cocky, too pretty. But oh-so-nice to look at.

Until the end of the week, I'd managed to avoid talking to him. I guess I got caught gazing longingly one too many times though, because he eventually sat down by me during one of our ever-stimulating classes. He starts in with some mild flirting. Which in his world looks like using his beautiful southern accent to ask me to go get things for him, or he's making cute comments about the lecture under his breathe for my benefit. Mostly though, he is demonstrating that he is dumb as a box of rocks.

And so the last shred of hope that maybe I was mistaken in my assessment of him as a dumb blonde was destroyed. And now when I see him, the Pretty is overshadowed by the Dumb. That's really going to spoil my only form of entertainment in class this week.

Why didn't I tell him "Don't talk, just sit there and look pretty for me" ???

New Job

Hello my friends. I just wanted to let you know that the Mermaid Dating Sagas will be on hiatus for a while. I am in training for a new job - living in a hotel across the country for the next three weeks of intensive study and practice. Not fun, but a necessity. So, I will not have much time to write in the near future. Could happen, but not likely. Have a lovely next few weeks, and be thankful you're not here in a tiny hotel room in New Jersey :-)

Birth Control

OK, Here's another dating story for you. I briefly dated a forty-something guy who was tall, dark, handsome, wealthy, and like to scuba dive. What's the problem, you ask? Sounds pretty good, huh? Well, when the time came in our relationship where S-E-X became a part of the scenario, we had the inevitable birth control chat. I was in favor of condoms. He was not. Apparently, being the aforementioned good looking, well off guy that he is, he was used to girls throwing themselves at him and making no such unreasonable requests. Why use a condom? They're no fun. Don't work for him, was the phrase he used. I told him that I was not on the pill, and even if I was, condoms would still be a good idea. He said to me "Well, you'd get an abortion if you get pregnant, right?"

Stopped me in my tracks. Is this man asking me to use abortion as birth control? I didn't know what to say, so just said that was not an idea I was comfortable with. The next day, as the shock wore off, I checked with some girlfriends, and they said they'd never been asked such a thing either. OK, so I'm not just uptight. Not just an inexperienced dater. When he called next, I told him it would not work out between us, so please don't call again. He was stunned. Apparently, he wasn't used to much younger women turning down the opportunity to spend time with his greatness. He tried to backpedal on the abortion thing, saying he didn't mean to use it instead of BC, just if the BC didn't work. Whatever. Then why was that the only idea he had on the subject?

Fast forward three years. The friends who set us up originally say he still asks about me and would like for us to try again. That I just misunderstood and overreacted. That he's such a great guy and I should really reconsider. Maybe they are right. Maybe I did misunderstand what he was saying. So, my internet reading friends, what do you think? Survey question is, Would you give it another try?



Update 6/11: Fast forward a few more years - he still asks about me. So we went on a date, and I apologized for misinterpreting his comment and ending things abruptly. He thanked me, we had a nice dinner, and I haven't heard from him since. Apparently that was the closure he needed. *pats self on back*

I Don't Date Married Men....

...but I do have lunch with them sometimes. Seems like most of the men who are attracted to me are married. Or much younger. My age...rarely. And the married ones are usually my dad's age, or thereabouts. How am I supposed to find the Love of My Life and Father of My Children when the ones that want me are already married and have kids of their own?

For instance, there's "Terry". About 54, looks like Robert Redford, has kids my age. We've taken some classes together, volunteered at same functions, and become friends. He is married, but unhappily. Surprise surprise. A couple of years ago, we had a conversation about our friendship, in which we professed a mutual attraction, but agreed that it was not to be acted upon. He's married - I want a man all to myself. He's getting up there into an age range where prostate problems and other such adventures are a reality - I want a guy who can have lots of sex and still run around with the babies (if and when I have them). But we agreed to maintain our friendship on a platonic level. Terry has asked me for coaching on reviving his relationship with his wife. Last time a guy did that, I ended up in bed with him, but that's a different story for another day. Needless to say, my advice didn't work. So now Terry and his wife are going to separate - eventually. Been hearing that one for a while. So from time to time he calls me and asks if he can take me to lunch or dinner or coffee "just to catch up". Or sometimes it's because he has a "small gift" for me. In order to keep things on the friend level, I generally try to refuse his gifts, and pay for myself. Not always successful at that.

The other day on a plane a guy next to me said, kind of out of the blue, "I'll bet married guys LOVE you". I was shocked. "How did you know?", I asked. He wouldn't tell me! "Do I have some kind of tattoo on my forehead that says I'm a tramp and want to ruin your marriage?" Still, he just laughed. He asked if I date married men. I said that I don't, but do have a married male friend who I eat lunch with occasionally. He laughed some more. Oh, and by the way, this guy is married. And he kept trying to hold my hand. Jees.

So, on Monday, I'm having lunch with Terry. But it's not a date, I swear!

Is it the hair?

So, I am 5'4, curvy, have blue eyes and honey blonde hair. And men say the damnedest things to me. Things that my friends can hardly believe. But these things are just a normal part of my life. So I have asked around, and one theory is, men think they can speak to me in a sexual, disrespectful, overly assuming way because I'm blonde. I don't know if this is the case, but is seems likely. During the course of the stories I will tell here, you will see for yourself. But the most recent example happened just this week.

A good friend of mine decided she wanted to have a little fun with a guy whose personal ad she found on the internet. She happened to know this guy, and wanted to see how he would respond to her if he didn't know who she was. So, she wrote to him in her normal tone and style, but used MY photo instead of hers. Now, before she sent the photo, he was polite. After she sent the photo, he sent her a list of several highly personal questions "What sexual positions do you like?" and "How many times a day do you like to have sex?", etc. Keep in mind, this was only his second email with her. The first one, polite, the second, not so much. The only thing that changed was he saw the photo of a blonde. Me. This friend of mine, she said "men never talk that way to me, so it must be the hair".

Welcome!

OK, so I said I'd never do a blog. Thought they were kind of nutty. But my friends have been encouraging me for years to write a book on my adventures in dating, and a blog seems much easier than a book. And after all, I do agree, these stories need to be told. For people to learn from, laugh at, be horrified by, etc. So, I offer up my dating sagas to you, the anonymous internet, and ask that you enjoy it. Stay tuned...