OK, Here's another dating story for you. I briefly dated a forty-something guy who was tall, dark, handsome, wealthy, and like to scuba dive. What's the problem, you ask? Sounds pretty good, huh? Well, when the time came in our relationship where S-E-X became a part of the scenario, we had the inevitable birth control chat. I was in favor of condoms. He was not. Apparently, being the aforementioned good looking, well off guy that he is, he was used to girls throwing themselves at him and making no such unreasonable requests. Why use a condom? They're no fun. Don't work for him, was the phrase he used. I told him that I was not on the pill, and even if I was, condoms would still be a good idea. He said to me "Well, you'd get an abortion if you get pregnant, right?"
Stopped me in my tracks. Is this man asking me to use abortion as birth control? I didn't know what to say, so just said that was not an idea I was comfortable with. The next day, as the shock wore off, I checked with some girlfriends, and they said they'd never been asked such a thing either. OK, so I'm not just uptight. Not just an inexperienced dater. When he called next, I told him it would not work out between us, so please don't call again. He was stunned. Apparently, he wasn't used to much younger women turning down the opportunity to spend time with his greatness. He tried to backpedal on the abortion thing, saying he didn't mean to use it instead of BC, just if the BC didn't work. Whatever. Then why was that the only idea he had on the subject?
Fast forward three years. The friends who set us up originally say he still asks about me and would like for us to try again. That I just misunderstood and overreacted. That he's such a great guy and I should really reconsider. Maybe they are right. Maybe I did misunderstand what he was saying. So, my internet reading friends, what do you think? Survey question is, Would you give it another try?
Update 6/11: Fast forward a few more years - he still asks about me. So we went on a date, and I apologized for misinterpreting his comment and ending things abruptly. He thanked me, we had a nice dinner, and I haven't heard from him since. Apparently that was the closure he needed. *pats self on back*
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14 comments:
Are you out of your mind?
Yeah, Chippy, I wouldn't think about giving him another chance. He would rather you consider an abortion than him consider a rubber, and this could imply he isn't into kids, and he's like, ten years older than you. I just think you deserve better.
The dude sounds lame! Abortion is so hard on a woman's body, why go through that for some bozo with a colgate smile? It does make me wonder if there is "trouble in paradise" if he says they "don't work" for him. I think that's a code word for he can't keep it up using them.
Analysis: He's a Loser, Move on... (Besides you get the satisfaction of being the mermaid that got away and sticking to your principles).
Alright, thanks for the weigh-ins. I was thinking all the same things, but thought I'd check inand see if I was being unreasonable. Glad to hear I'm not :-)
Oh, calm yourself. God doesn't want to hear about this :-)
Watch out, Chippy. I'll wrestle you.
Sweet...
Bring it on...
why do your comments get flirting, and mine get fighting?
And punkass just gets excited?
BTW, I will win.
hey, I'll make some pudding for you to wrestle in
Didn't you read the title of my blog? It's the hair, remember?
Pudding.... yummmm
I thought it appropriate to present the typical male "Pavlovian-Homer Simpson like" response. (As is ummmmm... female pudding wrestling, [drool]).
In all honestly, a discussion of Quantum Physics would get me more excited. (And probably why I'm still single... there are limits to acceptable nerdyness).
Pudding, now that will get Bill Cosby excited.
Fast forward 5 years - guess who I'm going out with tonight? Yup, this guy. What the hell, it's been almost a decade.
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